I am just back from a very sad week and a half in Florida attending my sister Ruth's final illness and eventual death. She went in the hospital on Thursday, February 6th for blood transfusions after a doctor appointment. On Saturday, the 8th Ron called to say she was declining, so my sister Susan and I flew down to be with her. We joined mom, Ruth's husband, Ron, and their three sons, Travis, Steven and Brendan, and Ron's parents. Ruth and Ron had bought a house in Homosassa, Florida, near our brother Peter, and were staying there during the winter.
Here is a picture of Ruth and Ron from a few years ago.
Look at that smile! Ruth was famous for it!
She actually rallied for a few days in the hospital, and I thought she would pull through. However, on Thursday afternoon the 13th she developed pneumonia, rapidly declined and went into a coma, which she never came out of. There was no treatment that would bring her back. We transferred her to a hospice facility nearby and spent the next two days with her there. She died mid-morning on Saturday, February 15.
She had been sick for over a year, but was very close-mouthed, so we do not know everything about her condition. I don't know if she knew everything that was going wrong. Perhaps I'll write more about that in another post.
Here is a more recent picture of Ruth and Ron, maybe a year or so ago. Still with that one-of-a-kind smile.
The people at the HPH Hospice in Brooksville were truly wonderful in helping with her passage from this life. Ron and the boys and Susan and I stayed there two nights, one whole day, and half of the last day. We were able to camp out in her room and spread out to the common area and a little lounge, sleeping in spurts on makeshift beds, couches and chairs. The nurse brought us crocheted afghans to cover up.
All of the nurses there were very kind and helpful, but we think one the first night was an angel. Around 2:00 in the morning we were all up again, crying, and she talked to us about taking this moment to tell Ruth how we felt and share our memories with her. Ruth was non-responsive, but probably could still hear what we said. We took turns alone in the room with her, climbed up on the bed with her, and told her what we wanted her to hear. I don't think any of us would have thought of doing that if that angel-nurse had not come by, noticed our angst, and talked to us. After that, Ron and the boys especially would get next to her in bed, even sleeping or dozing off with her, and we all hugged her and talked to her throughout the stay.
Saturday morning a chaplain was talking to Ron, while Susan and I listened. He spoke of books about near-death experiences, and how people who come back from them are unanimous in reporting a beautiful afterlife awaiting, full of unconditional love and the total absence of fear. The last thing he spoke of was how often people will wait for someone or perhaps some symbolic act, but when the time comes to actually pass over, they are alone in the room; that they seem to want their privacy for this last act on this earth.
Ron had found a special "Family" charm for Ruth's Pandora bracelet, planning to give it to her on Valentine's Day. His parents brought the bracelet and new charm over on Saturday morning, and Ron went in by himself to put it on Ruth's wrist and tell her again how much he loved her. He left the room, and within minutes after that, she had passed peacefully away, somehow managing to find that minute when no one was there to leave by herself. Only Brendan was in the room, asleep on a couch across the room. It was the most peaceful, sweet death for her, although so hard on her family to finally see her go.

Everyone remembers Ruth's smile and her zest for life and fun-loving spirit. She had an eye for decorating, and her house always had lovely little touches that none of the rest of us could pull off. She was a great mother to her three boys, and a great friend to all of their friends, who spent hours in the comfortable Mason house, and Ruth always listened to them and had just the right thing to say. She adored her nieces and nephews and her great-nieces and nephews, and they adored her.
Ruth was the youngest of our family of six kids, nine years younger than me, the oldest. Here is one of my favorite pictures, me and Ruth when she was just a baby. I think I was in 4th grade here. Sorry for the light in the upper right corner, a reflection from the glass as I snapped this picture from the framed picture that Ruth had on a dresser in her house in Florida. Or maybe it is Ruth in angel form, telling us all is well. I do believe that is true.